I remember her first day of nursery. Jonathan was the anxious one, the one that could not tear himself away from her. I was so excited...I didn't have to walk the halls anymore!
And she did awesome! She stayed all by herself and didn't cry...It was a momentous day for all of us.
Now, fast forward 2.2 years and she's entering Primary. Another momentous day for all of us. Except this time Jonathan is at work and I am the one to send her to class. I am so nervous for her and so needing my husband to hold my hand through this. I'm not sure if I can let go. I know it's just Sunbeams class, but to me, it feels like her first real step toward independence and, it hurts a little.
So we wade through the mass of people that is our ward and walk into the primary room to find her tiny chair. I realize she has her two best friends in her class and I breathe a little sigh of relief. I know I have to leave now. She looks me in the eye with the bravest face I've seen and says, "Mommy, you come get me after class?"
Me, trying to hold back the first wave of tears: "Of course, Maddy, of course. You know I will always be there at the end of class."
Maddy: "Okay, Mommy. Kiss"
I stay and hold her hand for a moment and then leave. As I'm again trying to wade through the sea of people, I can't hold back the second wave of tears and I know I need to find a place to be alone for a moment. I take one last look back and she still has that brave face just staring straight at the wall. Aaaggh. I keep praying, "Just let her be alright, just let her feel secure."
And...she was just fine. I go to pick her up after class and she's as happy as can be.
She did it. Yet again, she amazes me with her strength.
10 comments:
I wish you were all here with us. I'm teaching our Sunbeams and I had 8 of them. It is a hard age for kids and parents. I'm not ready for Lily to be there. I'm having a hard enough time trying to let myself let other people take her for small periods of time. AAAGGHH! To be a parent. It is so fun and scary at the same time!?!
Yeah for Maddy! It is so neat seeing the new sunbeams in primary. I will go through this next year and I am sure that it will be hard for me as well!
I think the greatest thing I have learned as my children have slowly taken those baby steps forward is to treasure each moment. It amazes me that I can again and again learn that I need to treasure it more than I had the day before. The complication - where your treasure is there will your heart be also - and hey everyone I just left my heart in the primary room with my sunbeam!!
YAY Sunbeams. Erica, you are such a sweet mother. I loved reading this post. I need to be more like you. =)
My cousin is growing up to fast:( Tell her i miss her. Love you guys.
I FEEL YOUR PAIN! And double it and realize that these were my babies that I just sent to Sunbeams. Okay, so Maddy is your baby too of course. You know in what context I was using the word--my last ones!
Thanks for letting us play with little Evan today and get a taste of babies again.
Bravo for Maddy for being so strong (and to Mom for keeping it together for Maddy's sake).
Beautiful post--"Slipping Through My Fingers" came to mind as I read it.
I made it throught the whole post without crying, until I read Julean's comments. Then I lost it. Way to go, Maddy! Way to go, Erica! (And Julean, you too!) I'm ahead of you, but it doesn't get any easier--especially when your "big girl" moves to Utah!!
Yeah Maddy!! I'm SO with you. I was amazed at how well Brooklyn did too. I sat at the back and watched to see if she would fall apart, but she was too into "head shoulders knees and toes..."
P.S. We'er coming to Utah in a few weeks and I'd love to see you, and get our girls together.
I hate to brake it to you but I think Maddy was born independent! haha-at least she has always seemed that way to me! What a brave little girl and a brave mommy!
AND what a gorgeous picture of Maddy!
Post a Comment