Moving on...

Things seem to really be changing around here. And I am not the biggest fan of change. It makes me sad to let things go and it makes me worry about what the future holds.

Last night was the kids' last night in their little room upstairs and tonight will be their first night in their new room in the basement with Evan in his new big boy bed. My baby boy is not so much a baby.

And in a mere 6 days my Madelyn Mae is starting kindergarten. Kindergarten!! What?! No one prepared me for the constant pain in my heart and the lump in my throat when I think about having to let go and let her off into this big world. I keep having these flashes of images in my mind of when she was little and it all seems that these first 5 years of dependence went by a little too fast...

...The little conversations during the day, the fun trips to the library and her first library class, her cute little crawl and walk, the smiles, hugs, kisses, first day of Sunbeams, tumbling classes, playing memory, taking her home from the hospital, our nightly walks around the trail by her first home, throwing rocks by the pond, and the list goes on.

The other night I had a dream of when we first moved to Utah and we had Mommy preschool. She was dressed in her Dora costume for Halloween and had the biggest smile on her face while decorating haunted houses and being with her little friends. It was all so vivid and I woke up... sobbing. All I wanted was to have that day over again--to wake up and see that big smile with those chubby cheeks and hear her rough, little voice tell me it's time to get ready for the party.

I hoped I had spent enough time with her, given her lots of love, taught her what she needs to know...

After a few weeks of this, I knew I needed to change my perspective and join in her excitement for this next big step in her life.

So we went on a back-to-school date last week. She chose to see the movie "Ramona and Beezus" and do a little back-to-school shopping. The movie was adorable and the shopping very, very fun! I will never forget that day and I hope she never does either.

It is so exciting to be taking this new step, and I am so very grateful to have such a confident, sweet, smart little girl who is ready to learn and grow even more.

And, I will always be her Mom. How beautiful is that!