You okay, Ma?

One year ago my sweet Henry gave us a scare and was hospitalized for a couple of days. He had started crying while eating a peanut M&M and choked for a bit, but seemed okay a minute later. However that evening he started wheezing and coughing and I was worried he had aspirated some of the peanut. It wasn't until the next morning that things got really bad and I took Henry into the ER and he had to have emergency surgery at Primary Children's Hospital to see if there were any peanuts in his airway. It wasn't his first time at the ER as he had had previous breathing troubles, but this time it wasn't getting better. Fortunately, there were no peanuts in his lungs, just a lot of mucus and junk the doctor had to suction out that he said was caused from all of the trauma of coughing. 

That first night in the hospital was rough. I was really on edge and not sure what was really going on. I asked if he might have a peanut allergy that kept causing him to wheeze and cough, but the doctor didn't think so. He woke up a couple times coughing during the night and his oxygen levels kept going down low enough that the nurses had to suction out more gunk from his lungs. It was so overwhelming emotionally for me watching my baby have to go through all of that. 

During the night I would ask him several times, "You okay, Henry?" or "You alright, Boo?" And he would usually answer, "Yes, Mommy, I okay." And he was okay until months later, as our family was driving through Oregon, he began making the same wheezing and coughing sounds. My stomach flipped and my heart sank and the same anxious and scared feelings came over me. We were in the middle of nowhere and I felt more helpless than I had ever felt in my life. At this point I was sure he had a nut allergy as I had just given him a granola bar with nuts. I was really not sure if he was going to make it and if I was going to lose him. I am so grateful everyday that he is still with us--that on those dark days his body was able to pull through and his lungs were able to clear and fill with air again. It was a miracle to me. He continues to wheeze and cough and need treatments when he has a bad respiratory illness or something, but how grateful I am for modern medicine and life-saving procedures, for priesthood power from a loving Heavenly Father, and that no matter what happens, I know that our family is forever. I am a covenant-keeper and I know that our family is protected because of the sealing power that bound us all together in the Lord's House years ago.

My compassionate little Henry recently started asking me again every night before his bedtime, "You okay, Ma?" and the wave of emotions from a year ago suddenly hits me.

But yes, I am okay, Buddy. I am okay, because I know that you are mine forever!