My Jane had a rough night last night. This happens every now and then and I'm never quite sure why. It could be that she's teething, overtired, cold, or scared.
After hearing her sob, I went in and saw a very sad girl with a very snotty nose. As I came back from getting a tissue, I saw her in the light and just squeezed her out of love and gratitude. And she squeezed back. What a precious, sweet angel. I felt so grateful I'm the one who gets to take care of her.
I took her back to her room and rocked her and sang to her. I felt her warm, pudgy hand on my cheek and felt the weight of her soft, little body in my arms. I watched as she twirled her baby hair around her small fingers. I listened to her breathing become deeper and slow. She was again asleep.
As I put her back into her crib, I felt full-I felt I was doing something inside of me that came naturally and that brings me more joy than anything else.
To mother is to do something of eternal value. It is to help mold and teach and love another human being! What is more wonderful than that? It is a privilege for which I am so thankful and a role I hold in the highest esteem. It is simple, it is complex, it is easy, it is hard-it is full of the most paradoxes on this earth. I am not perfect at it, far from it. But I am trying to be more intentional. And in these moments I feel the reward.
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